
??? I’ve never even heard of it before now

Today I welcomed my niece into the world, I can’t even begin to describe how amazing this experience was. She is just the most previous beautiful little thing I have ever seen. I’m so tired after getting a phone call at 4:30am to tell me my sister in law was in labour and to get to the hospital but I’m just so overwhelmed and excited that I just cant sleep. I feel like I’m on the brink of tears, but tears of joy.
Words can’t describe how incredibly proud I am of my brother and Shana and how happy I am that baby April is finally here.
Lately with you Im not really sure to what to think, after we talk Im often left wondering if there are ulterior motives behind your actions, or if you simply just use me to satisfy a need that you have.
There are moments where you make me smile and laugh that my cheeks actually begin to hurt, but then there are days like today where Im made to feel objectified and Im not entirely sure on how Im supposed to deal with this… There are parts of you that are beginning to resemble my ex and I can’t help but get lost in my thoughts and emotions of what it is that attracts me to men like you, like him? What it is that draws me in and even when you make me sad I still stick around hoping that your just being a jerk and that you’ll get over this mood soon enough and be nice again.
Im tired of being a doormat, yet I somehow find history beginning to repeat itself…